On conversation

I've used a number of techniques for learning Spanish and Russian; different audio lessons, different language software, all sorts of flashcard techniques, etc. Some of them help and some don't. However, by far the most useful way to learn, the number one most effective thing you can do if you have it as an option, is through conversation with a native speaker.

I understand that this is something that many people feel uncomfortable about, because they might make a mistake. For that reason, maybe you should start out by practicing with a tutor; if you pay the person, then you won't feel as embarrassed when you make a mistake. A potentially cheaper alternative is to set up a language exchange, where you help the person with English and they help you with their native language. There are a number of web sites that help you find such people for online conversations; I've had good luck with http://www.language-exchanges.org but there are many others. Or you could even try an advertisement.

Early on in my Spanish experience I was learning mostly through flash cards and audio CDs. I would go to a restaurant in my neighborhood, where most of the waiters and busboys were Spanish-speakers, and I would practice with them. Now, I had practiced the past perfect tense quite a bit, but it never really sank in until one day when I was speaking with one of the busboys and I wanted to ask him where he had learned English, so I said

¿Dónde aprendí Ud. inglés?

When he looked at me blankly, I got kind of nervous, so I said it again more slowly, and then he laughed and corrected me:

¿Dónde aprendió Ud. inglés?

because "aprendí" means "I learned", so when I put it together with "Usted", it didn't make any sense. Now, this exchange was embarrassing for me, because I had been so proud of my book knowledge and so sure that I actually knew the past tense, and so it formed a very strong memory; to this day I can remember the look on his face while he was trying to figure out what I was trying to say. And never afterwards did I forget that the polite form of "you learned" is "aprendió", and, even better, I finally got a good grasp on the past perfect tense.

I have several other stories that illustrate the same point; in each story I have a strong memory of a moment when a conversation partner taught me something, and in all those cases, I also have a strong memory of the thing that they taught me. However, I have almost no specific memories like that where I'm learning specific facts from books, CDs, and flash cards, although I know I must have learned quite a bit that way. So, from that, I take the lesson that, if you have a choice between the different methods of learning, always choose the one that involves more social interaction.

This extra embarrassment that we feel in conversation is completely natural, and is actively helpful, as long as it doesn't paralyze us and keep us from participating. The reason it's so helpful is that, when we form memories, the strength of the emotion we're feeling will add to the force of the memory. If you're learning from a book, from a CD, from the television, from flash cards, there's no other person that you are worried about, there's no social pressure, there's no social interaction going on. When you are involved in a real, significant, worrisome social interaction — asking someone out on a date, getting yelled at by your boss, explaining something to a suspicious policeman — you are going to retain the memory far, far better than if you are safe at home with your book or your computer or your television.

Another great benefit of learning through conversation is that you will be learning about the social context, not just the language. When you read a dictionary or a grammar book, it will mark certain words as "colloquial", "familiar", "offensive", and so on, but that doesn't really communicate all the little shades of cultural meaning and appropriateness that inform our unconscious usage of our mother tongue. Imagine that you're at an informal party with some friends and are introduced to a foreigner, who greets you with "Good evening, gentlemen"; while it's not wrong, and maybe none of you would even say anything about it, it's clearly far too formal for the context. However, by noting what your conversation partner says and emulating it, you can learn how a native speaker, and a native to that culture, might act.

Now, some people might be reading this and thinking that by "conversation partner" I mean a teacher. The only time I have made progress with teachers has been when we worked one-on-one in what was very much a conversation (albeit often more structured, as the teacher might be trying to teach a particular point of grammar) When I studied in Guatemala, we spent five hours a day in one-on-one instruction, and it was tremendously helpful. However, in group classes, there is much less pressure on you to participate, because you can always hope that some other student will say something, and that means that you can pay less attention to what the teacher is saying; if she says something you don't understand, you can just ignore it and hope you didn't really need to know it. I also think the large number of Americans who studied a language for years in high school and in college, but still can't speak it, shows that group classes can often be a waste of time and money. Let me be sure to add a disclaimer that I am talking about group classes in the abstract; in the hands of a really good teacher, I'm sure that some students will flourish.

You should always remember that, unless you're paying the other person, a conversation is first and foremost a social encounter and only secondarily an educational event. If you don't engage the other person, ask him about himself, talk about things he wants to talk about, then you may end up boring him, and then he may not be inclined to work with you again. And, really, your goal is to get him to talk in an engaging way, to want to respond to what he says, to try to say something, to fail, and to be corrected.

If you can remember, always try to keep a pen and paper handy so you can write down whatever words and phrases are new for you or that you don't understand completely. If your partner is willing, and if you have a recorder, it's even better to record your conversation so you can review it later. Don't distract your partner too much by constantly asking for definitions, as it will disrupt the conversational flow; instead, wait for an appropriate pause, then maybe ask for clarifications, or guess at the meanings and try to restate them in your own words. In any event, always look the words and phrases up later and make sure your guesses were correct. If you made a recording, you can review it multiple times and even make a word-for-word transcription to make sure you understood everything.

Another extremely helpful technique is to repeat words and phrases after the partner says them. This is something that young children love to do, and which is generally considered pretty annoying, so don't do it too frequently, or too loudly, but for new or difficult-to-pronounce phrases it can be a great help. It helps you practice pronunciation, it reinforces your memory of the phrase, and if you make a mistake your partner may choose to correct you. You shouldn't assume that they will, however; each correction represents a little bit of effort, and they will often pick and choose what to correct based on whether they think it's worth it.

There are other techniques which I haven't tried, such as Total Physical Response, in which your partner gives you orders like "Stand up! Turn five times clockwise! Invert the salt shaker!", but which seem like they would probably be helpful. But I think the mere fact of interacting with a live human being, and the extra meaning that that imparts to the experience, are what really make conversation practice so helpful.